Woody moods

He's a funny guy, this Woody Allen. I picked up his 'The complete prose' and am relishing it page by page like I would a delicious dessert. Such a book can't and shouldn't be devoured in a day. The chapters are whacky, nonsensical and quite often pointless, but they are witty. Sample some:

A fine example of demonstration was the Boston tea party, where outraged Americans disguised as Indians dumped British tea into the harbor. later, Indians disguised as outraged Americans dumped actual British into the harbor. following that, the British disguised as tea, dumped each other into the harbor. finally, the German mercenaries clad only in costumes from the Trojan women leapt into the harbor for no apparent reason.

Is it better to be the lover or the loved one ? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
The marvelous thing is that when one is in love there is an impulse to sing. This must be resisted at all costs, and care must also be taken to see that ardent male doesn't "talk" the lyrics of songs. To be loved, certainly, is different from being admired, as one can be admired from afar but to really love someone it is essential to be in the same room with the person, crouching behind the drapes.
To be a really good lover, then, one must be strong and yet tender. How strong? I suppose being able to lift fifty pounds should do it. Bear in mind also that to the lover the loved one is always the most beautiful thing imaginable even though to a stranger she may be indistinguishable from an order of smelts. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,. Should the beholder have poor eyesight, he can ask the nearest person which girls look good. (Actually, the prettiest ones are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.)
"The joys of love are but a moment long," sang the troubadour, "but the pain of love endures forever." This was almost a hit song, but the melody was too close to "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy."

Going again to the US in the coming month. This time it's a personal trip to meet Aanchal, my niece, who is going to come to this world anyday now. Dad and mom are already there. I'll meet Vaishali and Smita too. On the way back, I do a quick stopover at Delhi just after Didi's birthday and then Diwali with Dad in Baroda. And yes, just before leaving for this frenzied trip of 5 places in 2 weeks, I give the GMAT and finish apping to the ISB too. Life's an adventure for the next 3 weeks. Why did I pack so much in? I always do that. But this time there was a reason. Idle mind, cupid's workshop... :-).